Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
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