i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
