who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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