at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
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