you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
