just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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