I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
