so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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