Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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