Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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