what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
