There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I think your dad took our porno
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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