you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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