Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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