your thong is hanging out like whoa
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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