I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Nicole vs. Life
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
