You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
