Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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