I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just gift wrapped bread.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
