theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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