Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
