my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
