i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
