Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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