just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
What a dumb baby whore.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
