The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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