he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
