Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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