I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
