they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
