I CAN MOONWALK!
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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