he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
