You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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