The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize
