i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
