I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
