Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Randomize
