i already hear my dad disowning me
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
