people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
