yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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