oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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