Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
