yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
