her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
