Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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