Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
