sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
