Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
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