Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
