sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
